


If Secrets Were Like Seeds

by EverestV



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, I swear it is, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 19:23:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19341013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverestV/pseuds/EverestV
Summary: What do you do when your best friend asks you out? Say you're already dating your other best friend and long time crush, of course. Even if it's a total lie.Now you just have to find a way to tell said crush this is all happening when they're in the next country over in a time where your mailing system is dependent on messenger birds. No big deal, right?Poor Maryden, honestly. She didn't ask for all this drama, she was just thrown into it and reacted accordingly--in a panic. What would you have done?





	If Secrets Were Like Seeds

**Author's Note:**

  * For [olio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/olio/gifts).



“That a new song?” Krem’s voice breaks through the general din of the tavern as he settles on the barstool next to Maryden, not that the young woman looks up from her open journal.

“Maybe. In theory. But it's not exactly cooperating." Maryden flips up the cover to hide her work from her friend and sips at her ale with her free hand.

"Oh?" Krem chuckles softly, if not a bit haltingly. "Am I not allowed to see it so far?" He asks before ordering himself a drink as well.

Maryden clears her throat. "Well. It's really not much of anything so far, so no. You can't see it yet."

"Fine, fine, keep your secrets." Krem says and the two fall into silence. Which isn't particularly unusual for the two, but Maryden can feel Krem squirming next to her so she closes her journal and glances over.

"How was...what was it this time?"

"Patrolling. It was fine. Got a map for Sister Leliana."

Maryden watches as he takes a long drink of his ale. "Is...is that it? No story? You seemed really excited about—"

Krem all but slams his empty mug down on the bar table and speaks in a rush. "Would you want to go on a day trip to Val Royeaux with me?"

"A...a trip?"

"I have some time off and there's this concert I heard about and, w-well, would you want to go? With me? Together. Um, I mean, as a couple? Officially? That's really what I'm asking..."

 _Shit. Lace was right._ "Krem, I..."

"Just because we spend time together a lot and you're— well, I think of you as a very good friend, you're very important to me, I’ve thought that for a while, and I enjoy spending time with you and I think if you—"

"Krem, I can't."

"You...you can't?" His hunched shoulders collapse in a rush and Maryden tries not to wince but her brain is scrambling for the explanation he's obviously waiting for. _If only you hadn't bonded over being bisexual, you could just lie and say you don't fancy men and be over with all this. Now you have to break his heart._ "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no, I just..."

"Did I misinterpret what we..."

 _Shit._ "Yes, well no, not entirely, you're important to me too, it's only..." _Fuck, you're gonna lose him. You say this now, break his heart, and it's never gonna be the same. You would have lost one of the only friends you have here, all because— shit you've been hesitating too long._ "I'm courting someone else right now."

"You are?" _You are not! Where the fuck did that come from?!_ "You...you didn't tell me! You would've told me, wouldn't you? Preferably before I made an arse of myself, shit." Krem runs a hand through his hair and he lets out a low chuckle, eyeing his empty mug with a restless kind of disappointment.

"No, no, you're not...one. An arsehole that is." _Fuck, did it actually work? He seems...well, embarrassed, but otherwise..._ "And, I would have, honestly. Told you, I mean. It's just, still very new. F-For us. We haven't really told anyone yet, so..."

"Oh, right. Of course. I can understand that. Wouldn't want to scare off the person with a big showy proposition or anything."

Maryden nods and flags down Cabot for refills. All the while, she can feel Krem staring at her, _expectantly_ , but he at least waits for the dwarf to attend to his other customers before speaking his mind.

"So? Are you gonna tell me?"

"Uh, tell you what?"

"Tell me who it is!" Krem shakes her shoulder a bit, the action more excited than insistent. She worries he's trying too hard to hide his true feelings by exaggerating that excitement, but she can't worry about that now. Mainly because she doesn't have an answer for him.

"Oh, well, it's..." _Just think of a name. Any name. Make it up. Then you can say he's some Inquisition soldier Krem's never met. You make up song lyrics for a living, this is just one simple—_ "Scout Harding."

"Scout—?" Krem blinks and then breaks into a wide grin. "Good for you! I knew you two were close, I just always thought...well, doesn't matter. I'm happy for you. Truly."

"Th-Thanks," _You. Idiot._ Maryden stares intently into her mug, desperately trying to avoid Krem's gaze. _You are. An idiot. A complete idiot. You just_ had _to choose the one person who...what exactly is your plan when—_

"Oh, are you blushing?" He asks gently, a smirk bleeding into his words, and Maryden presses her forehead against the edge of the table. Krem just laughs. "Always knew you were a romantic. Just remind me— I'll cover a round of drinks for us as soon as Harding gets back to Skyhold. The very second."

Maryden jerks upright. "You really don't have to!"

"Hey, hey, I insist!" Krem's whole body language turns warm — shoulders relaxed, smile bright, and chin tucked into his propped-up hand. Maryden hates it when he does that. "It'll help me make up for being a complete idiot.

"And anyway," he continues, casual and earnest. "I don't want anything to change after...this. I want us all to stay friends like before, like normal. We always drink together when one of us returns home."

Maryden manages a nod and allows him to rest a gentle hand on her shoulder. She takes a deep breath and immediately starts mentally drafting an urgent letter to the Arbor Wilds.

 

* * *

 

 

Maryden watches from afar as the Inquisitor crouches down to examine the modest herb garden. She can just make out a few encouraging words concerning growth from here and smiles to herself. The image of an amateur gardener who talks to their plants doesn't exactly fit the all-powerful hero she's writing a new song for, but she supposes—

"Maryden? Maryden, there you are!" Ritts comes running and doubles over when she reaches her target. "Shit, the one time you're not in the damn tavern."

"I'm not gonna apologize for communing with—

"Harding is back."

"What?!" Maryden jumps to her feet and takes off across the courtyard. "Maker, she's over a week early! Where is she?!"

"In her quarters, for now at least." Ritts says as she reluctantly jogs after her friend, directing her through the castle with a nudge to the shoulders. "But she said she'd head to the tavern as soon as she was done dropping things off."

"Oh, so we have time then? To get Krem out of the—"

"Well she said that ages ago. Took me long enough to find you, hiding out here in the garden of all places."

"You're a terrible scout!" Maryden exclaims before running off, ignoring her friend's retort about her being "an agent now, for your information!"

Her mind races faster than her legs as she heads toward the tavern, a sinking feeling descending on her stomach all the while feeling lightheaded enough to throw up. _Maker's tits, I hope the letter got there in time. I hope she read my poor attempts at an excuse, at a reason. I hope she understands. Because it was such an on-the-spot decision, it's all I could think of at the time. It doesn't mean anything other than that. It's not as if I actually want to court her, that's not why the thought came to mind. We were just talking about the subject of courting and she just happened to be—_

"La— Lead Scout Harding!" Maryden calls out as she notices the dwarf walking and rolling out her shoulders. _She looks tired. Not injured, though. What a relief. I hope the journey back wasn't too strenuous._

"Minstrel Halewell," Lace turns to face her with a sudden smile and pauses outside the tavern. "Sorry, why are we being so formal? Wait. Did you see a messenger bird following me? Because I swear, Sister Leliana has been—"

"No, it's not that. I just...did you get my letter?"

"Yes, I was very sad to hear about your nug's terrible—"

"Monsieur Caramel,"

"Right, Monsieur Caramel's cold. Has he been feeling any—"

"He's better now, thank you. I meant the other letter."

"The other...oh, the new song. I know it's been hard going, but I'm sure you'll find inspiration soon. Especially after the stories _I_ have to tell which are—"

"The _other_ letter."

Lace looked at her blankly. "I don't...maybe it didn't get there in time? I did get back a bit early..."

 _Of course._ "Shit, well, okay." Maryden spins around and starts pacing, pointedly not making eye contact with the scout who's looking particularly stunning in the late afternoon sunlight. Which is really bringing out her freckles. Which she should mention later because that's what friends do, compliment them when they're looking their best. Even if that's all the time. _Not the point._ "I wanted to clarify this before you go inside anyway."

Lace looks between the tavern door and Maryden's bristling figure. "Okay. Is everything alright?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. It might be." Maryden takes a deep breath and comes to a stop, closing her eyes as she collects herself. "But before I begin. I need you to know. I was on the spot. And if you don't feel comfortable with it all, I'd be more than— well, I mean, I'd understand if you wouldn't want...what I'm saying is, one word from you will—"

"Harding! You're back early!" Krem exclaims as he all but bursts through the door and outside, cheeks flushed and feet stumbling over themselves. Maryden feels weak in the knees and contemplates turning tail and running before he makes eye contact with her. "And Maryden! My two favorite ladies! Don't tell Dalish and Skinner..."

"Wow. Started drinking without us? I'm hurt." Lace laughs as he gets in range before sending a good natured punch into his shoulder.

"What can I say? It's what I'm good at." He leans in close and throws both his arms around the two, pulling them close. Maryden turns to look at the sky, examining the clouds with feigned interest. It’s the only way she can avoid being inches away from _her_ face.

"An understatement," Lace says and rolls her eyes, grinning regardless. It falters slightly when she notices her friend looking perhaps more uncomfortable than before.

"Whatever. It's perfect timing. We're celebrating tonight!" He laughs and leads them inside the tavern, pointedly ignorant of Maryden's dragging feet.

"Celebrating? What are we celebrating again?"

Maryden finally manages to find her voice and clears her throat frantically. "Krem? Hey, Krem? Remember what I said about—"

"Right, right," he gives her a nod and lowers his voice to a husky whisper, sitting across from them at the nearest empty table. "We're celebrating you two! Maryden told me you're seeing each other now. You know. _More than usual_."

"We're...what?"

Maryden can't look at her. She can't. _Fuck, it's all going to shit. Fuck, she hates me. Fucking well-meaning blabbermouth drunk!_ "Krem, can you just give us—"

"Don't worry, don't worry, I didn't tell anyone!" He exaggerates offense and Maryden's knuckles are white where she grips the seat of her chair. "Not even the Chargers, swear on my life! I know you two want to keep things all _shh shh_ for now. But, hey! We should still celebrate with them tonight! We can just say it's Monsieur Caramel's birthday and—"

"We don't have to do that," Lace interrupts and Maryden's teeth digs into her bottom lip. _This is it. She's gonna say it was all a lie and how offended she is at the very thought and how she'd never in a thousand years imagine us—_ "We'll just use tonight to break the news to everyone. We were waiting for an excuse anyway. Right, Maryden?”

Maryden’s breath catches in her throat, her heart is lodged somewhere in her stomach, and everything seems to freeze in place because Lead Scout Lace Harding is somehow holding her hand under the table. Holding it and squeezing it. And she’s giving her this smile, soft and reassuring and... _there_. Just a touch of mischief in the curve of her lips, the light in her eyes. She’s taking this all in stride and any doubt Maryden had melts away.

“Uh, yeah. Yes, sure."

"Great!" Krem exclaims and shoots up, leading them to a group of tables where the rest of the Chargers are waiting. And throughout it all, Lace never lets go of Maryden's hand.

 

* * *

 

Maryden is having fun. She is. And if she's being honest, it doesn't feel much different than any other tavern night with the Chargers. Everyone's laughing and drinking, taking turns telling stories amidst protests of "not _this_ one again" and it’s almost enough to distract her from the Iron Bull’s watchful eye. Almost.

Because he is definitely staring at her. Between drinks and whenever someone isn’t talking directly to him, he’s just sitting back and watching. She knows what it must mean and she scolds herself for not realizing sooner. She had been worried about the Chargers finding out because of the inevitable commotion it would cause, but she had completely forgotten their chief was a spy, and a good one at that. She’s downing her drinks faster than usual and he must be noticing it, but she can’t help it. Between that and Lace’s lingering touches, she’s not sure how much longer—

“So, ladies,” The Iron Bull clears his throat when there’s a slight lull in the conversation. “You never told us how you actually got together. Who confessed to who, and all that. Because it’s certainly a surprise to all of us.”

Everyone leans in as Maryden feels herself shrinking from the attention. “Oh, w-well—”

“I did. It’s embarrassing actually,” Lace begins, covering Maryden’s hand with her own and sending her a warm smile. “I was so nervous about saying the wrong thing, I wrote the whole thing down in a letter. Probably about two pages long, wasn’t it?” Maryden nods and stares at her friend wide-eyed. “I was agonizing over sending it the whole day, thinking ‘what if the messenger bird dies or gets lost or intercepted,’ which brought on a whole new fear of Sister Leliana accidentally reading my confession of love and firing me on the spot.”

The group laughs along and Maryden chokes out a chuckle at the prompting of Lace’s squeezing hand. “So, I decide to just hand it to her in person— which was mortifying, I’ll be honest. But I figured it was the only way to guarantee she’d even read the letter. So I give it to her and she’s reading it in front of me and when she’s finished, she asks why I’m so nervous about a status report on my new scouting team. I had switched the letters!” Another roar of laughter and Lace grins. Maryden can’t look away even if she tries. “Stupid, I know! So I’m dragging her to my quarters where the letter is still thankfully on my desk, albeit marked ‘Official Inquisition Business’ because I’m an idiot. But, well, an idiot who got her to say yes in the end.”

“Sounds like a whirlwind, huh? Maryden?” The Iron Bull asks with an eyebrow arched as he stares at her over the brim of his mug.

Another hand squeeze. “Yes, well, it was certainly a, um, surprise.” She clears her throat and meets his gaze straight on. “Especially since I had been drafting my own embarrassing letter. So, well, you could say the feeling was mutual.”

The Iron Bull waits for the laughter to die down a bit before continuing, a challenge in his eye all while his tone remains amiably interested. “When did this even happen? It’s always impressive when someone keeps a secret from me for too long.”

“We’ve been—”

“It was just recently actually,” Maryden interrupts this time, smiling though she grits her teeth. “Right before Harding left for the Arbor Wilds. As you said. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind.”

Lace shrugs innocently. “I figured if she said no, I would be leaving the next day anyway so I could avoid the embarrassment. Of course, she said yes, which meant we didn’t really get to enjoy it. That reminds me. Do you mind if we sneak out early tonight? Have some time to ourselves?”

The Chargers begrudgingly give their consent and the Iron Bull can’t really argue with their unanimous consensus. Amidst scattered last words of congratulations and well-wishes, Lace leads the way out of the tavern and up to the battlements, dragging along a Maryden who feels as though the whole world is spinning faster than it should.

They stop at a secluded spot far from the nearest tower and away from the usual patrolling guard, and Lace is staring at her with that mischievous glint in her eye again. “So. I was right, wasn’t I? When I said Krem was interested in you.”

“I...what...”

“He propositioned you, didn’t he? Probably asked all gentleman-like, somewhere quiet and private, romantic even. The gardens at night? Under the moonlight while he held your hand and read some terrible poetry—”

“It was in the tavern and he was half-drunk, nervous as all and stumbling over himself.”

“Oh, poor thing! I didn’t realize he had it _that_ bad!”

Maryden shakes her head and wraps her arms around herself against the night breeze. “He was so sincere, though, and I just...I felt...”

“You panicked?” Lace offers and tilts her head. “You were so caught off guard, despite my several warnings about this exact thing happening, that you...what? Made up some story about _us_ being together instead just to—”

“Are you offended? Or angry about it?” Maryden lets out the breath she’s been holding and the words just spill out of her. “Because you’re right. I panicked. I had to think of something and I was on the spot and I just said the first thing that came to mind. I appreciate you going along with it all, especially without so much of an explanation from me beforehand. But I realize how much of this is at your expense so I understand if you want out of this whole scheme. We can just end things, make it all dramatic and passionate and public so there’s no denying it and maybe that will be enough. I’ll be so heartbroken and act so pathetic that Krem will just give up on the idea of me and then everything will just go back to the way things were.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know, I just...” Maryden huffs and blinks quickly. “I didn’t want to lose him, but now I realize I can’t...I-I’m terrified I’ve ruined things now so just...just tell me how I can fix this, Lace, because I can’t...I can’t lose—”

“Hey, hey,” Lace rushes forward and takes Maryden’s hands in hers, smiling and shaking her head. “There’s no need to cry. Really, everything’s fine. You didn’t ruin things. It’s just...a bit more complicated now. But we can figure it out. We can. And hey,” she waits until Maryden meets her gaze. “I’m not mad. Or offended or anything like that. Okay, Mare? I just...well, I think it’s _funny_ because I _told_ you he was interested in you and you didn’t—”

Maryden giggles and drops her hands to push at her friend’s shoulders. “Harding, this is _not_ the time to gloat! Maker’s breath, you’re insufferable!”

“You put up with me anyway,” Lace grins and shrugs, giving Maryden the time to catch her breath and wipe at her eyes. “I was thinking, though, if we are going to commit to this. You saw Bull watching us, right? At the table?”

“How could I not?” Maryden scoffs and shakes her head. “Honestly, I was ready to confess right then and there just so he would let up.”

“Exactly. He clearly doesn’t believe us so we just have to be more convincing.”

“We have to...what?”

“He’s already trying to pick away at our story, trying to find inconsistencies, so we have to be prepared. The more details we can consistently agree on, the better.”

“Oh, yes, well, I guess that makes sense...”

“And I thought we could practice how we act as well. You know, being intimate.”

Maryden chokes on air. “I-Intimate?”

“Er, affectionate! I meant, affectionate! Sorry!” Lace backtracks quickly, eyes widening and raising up her palms. “I just think it would help our case, if anyone’s watching us, to hug more. Hold hands. I was trying to do that in the tavern, I’m not sure if you noticed.” _Only slightly_. “Little things like that. But eventually build up to, well, kisses as well. For appearances, of course.”

“O-Oh...” _Oh. I see now. This is all some hallucination sent by the Maker. Or I’ve been asleep this whole time and I’m simply dreaming and eventually I’ll wake up and this will all be—_

“But we have time, I think. We can always say we’re trying to take things slowly.” Lace continues, flailing her hands a bit as she explains. “That way, we can practice on our own. In private. So when we do it in front of people for the first time, it isn’t awkward or stiff.”

“O-Of course,” _I mean, this can’t possibly be real._

“Good. We can start practicing tomorrow if you’re not busy. But it’s getting late now, let me walk you back to your quarters.”

“Oh, you...you don’t want to stay the night?” Maryden asks, voice quiet. _Are things changing that much?_ “You’ve only just gotten back to Skyhold and we always spend the night exchanging stories about what the other missed. You said you had a few.”

“Yes, right, I just didn’t know if...”

Maryden straightens and clenches her teeth, determined to keep to the tradition. “It would look strange, don’t you think? If someone saw us part ways at the door? We have to keep up appearances.”

She reaches out her hand and Lace takes it with a smile. “You’re right. For appearances.”

**Author's Note:**

> (...)  
> keep my body from the fire, hire a gardener for my grave  
> (...)  
> when I'm lying under marble, marvel at flowers you'll have made


End file.
